16 January, 2010

Reasons to have sex with the ex

Sex with an ex is one of those universal no-nos that your mom and hair dresser would probably agree on. "Don't do it!" they'll say, yet so many of us have and do. Maybe it's time to acknowledge the not-entirely-unhealthy reasons for having ex sex. At least then we can justify it!

1. Baby-Step Breakups: Though I've heard of cold-turkey breakups, I've never met one. Most breakups take weeks or months — even years. I spent more time in breakup mode with one boyfriend than I did in the official relationship. So, yes, people often have sex until something new comes along. It may not be the best coping mechanism, but it's hardly the worst.

2. To See What You're Not Missing: This is a risky one, as it could easily backfire and make you think you are missing something. But we tend to idealize lost loves, so if absence has built him up, let presence bring him down.
3. End a Dry Spell: If you've gone so long without sex that you could care less, ex sex can reignite your interest in (or tolerance for) dating. Recommended only if a lot of time has passed.

4. No Instructions Necessary: It takes a long time to train a guy. This is an extension — or benefit — of dry-spell-ending sex. If you're going to have a one-night stand, why not have it with someone you know and who knows what you want?

5. Because You Want To: The emphasis on what you should and shouldn't do can be overwhelming and irritating. Yes, there may be emotional consequences, but maybe it's just what you need to get on with your life. Sex with an ex does not have to be either good or bad for you, it can just be sex — and you can decide. [source]

Has ex sex ever worked for you?

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