22 September, 2007

The Top 10 Reasons to avoid "Pregnancy & Sex"

TEN-The men who bitch that they haven't gotten laid in X days/months/years

Seriously. There are loooooooong threads started by men who haven't gotten laid in a long time asking for "help" to rekindle their sex lives. Any attempts to actually provide them with help will result in a lecture about how their wife wouldn't accept oral or any kind of sexual touch. They are only looking to bitch and commiserate with other men who aren't getting any.

NINE-The women who believe their husbands should be grossed out by delivery and never want to fuck them again.

I have one word for a man like this. Pussy. Sexyhusband will be in the delivery room (his choice), and will be counting the seconds until I can fuck him again so he can worship the pussy that not only fucks him well but just pushed his child into the world. Delivery should be a moment of awe and reverence for the power of women, not a revolting horror show that makes you never want to fuck your woman again.

EIGHT-The women who whine that their sex drive has tanked and they don't want it anymore but their awful husbands want to be sexual.

I will be the first to agree that pregnancy can do a number on your libido. However, in the event that you don't want to have intercourse, there are these things known as hand jobs and blow jobs. When those feel like too much work (or your gag reflex is feeling overly sensitive), why not read erotica to him out loud? Or tell him a sexual fantasy while he jerks off. Or even just sit there and smile and cuddle your husband while he jerks off? I realize this is shocking but there are ways to be sexually connected that don't involve intercourse. Read more >>

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