22 June, 2009

How not to get jealous

I have never been a jealous type of person, but because people have frequently asked me why, it’s prompted me to take a deeper look.

First, let me ask this: what happens when you have something you love dearly that you’re afraid of losing? You hold onto it tighter, you keep an eye on it and you’re very particular about who you let borrow or take care of it!

What happens when you do that to a person? They feel suffocated, trapped and at some point, they’ll look for the fastest way out. But if you give them freedom, they’ll want to stay. So why would I act as if I’m afraid of losing him?

If you don’t mind, I’m going to take you inside my head for just a moment. I promise you won’t be there long and it is perfectly safe: just keep your hands inside the vehicle, no flash photography, safety goggles and harnesses on, now hold on for the ride!

Do you want to know the key thing that allows me to swing and not get jealous? The one thing that makes all the difference? Well here it is: It’s that I don’t look at my husband as ‘belonging’ to me.

In my mind he’s not a possession; I don’t own him and he doesn’t own me. This means that we are operating from a different level of respect; we allow the other to choose to stay with us for another day. When we focus on how grateful we are to have them in our lives, we become less concerned with thoughts of “What if I lose them?” read more >>

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