15 May, 2009

Too nice to orgasm?

Faking the big-oh to please your partner the wrong move, say experts

This is a public service announcement for all you women out there who have thrown back your heads, feigned guttural screams of pleasure and thrown in an extra epileptic seizure spasm for good measure during a romp — you know who you are.

According to a Sun Media/Leger Marketing poll that surveyed 1,003 women across the country, 49% of you admit to having faked an orgasm, either to protect your partner's ego or to expedite the transaction and get the sex over with.

But experts agree unanimously faking it is the wrong move to have in one's boudoir repertoire.

"Never fake it because you're not going to get what you want," says Calgary-based sex therapist Cheryl Swan, echoing an oft-repeated refrain among experts.

Faking an orgasm is a huge disservice to your own pleasure, they say, and could be construed as a betrayal by your partner. Talk your partner through what feels good, experts say, and take your pleasure by the horns, so to speak.

The results of our survey seemed low for Pega Ren, a sexologist from Vancouver who said the propensity to fake orgasms depends on a woman's comfort level.

"We fake orgasms depending on the level of safety. The safer we feel with the lover in asking for what we want and talking honestly about how we like sex, the less we have to fake," she says. "When we're in a trusting, open relationship we're able to communicate openly and don't have to fake anymore."

Respondents in the poll also said they average about two orgasms a week.

Should we be unable to achieve the Big-O, 67% of women said it's no one's fault, that "these things happen."
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