19 May, 2009

Masturbation Jealousy

I’m talking about masturbation jealousy. I’m talking about people who get jealous, not when their partners get attracted to other people, not when their partners look at porn starring other people, but when their partners masturbate. And I mean seriously jealous. Not “a little twinge of weirdness” jealous; not “I know this is irrational but I just can’t help feeling this way” jealous. I mean, “This is legitimately hurtful and threatening to me, it’s a violation of sexual trust, and I expect you to stop it” jealous.

And I do not get it at all.

Admittedly, I’m not necessarily the best person to ask about jealousy. I tend to rank fairly far down on the jealousy scale; to me, the fact that my partner gets interested in other people seems pretty normal, and not a particularly big deal. But it’s not like I don’t get it at all. I’m human. I get twinges. And I’ve felt serious, hard-core jealousy before, in bad relationships with people I didn’t trust and shouldn’t have. It’s not like the emotion is alien to me.

But getting jealous of your partner masturbating? That, I am totally baffled by. I’m trying to figure it out. And I might need someone to explain it to me. Read on >>


bdenied said...

I never understood it either

Loving Annie said...

I don't understand jealousy of masturbation at all, unless it is in preference of actually having sex eith your partner.

Or if you have a sex addiction and are looking at porn - and that's a deep seated emotional issue.

But as far as I'm concerned, occasionally seeing my significant other tugging and jerking his sexy hard-on while his glazed horny eyes are fixed on my body and he's imagining something he wants to do to me - or talking dirty to me about it - is a total turn on.

And I hope vice-versa to him.

A man threatened by a woman's use of toys is a man with a small dick or a man who is a mediocre lover and not sure of his ability to please a woman.

And if a woman is threatened by a flesh-light, it behooves her to learn how to give a better hand job so that she won't be.

rocketman said...

Most of the comments at the site seem to express with what I'm thinking - that's it's an issue of insecurity.

And I'll add that I don't see why a person should be that controlling/jealous/insecure. But I guess it could depend on a whole range of issues/experiences.

Interesting article, thanks for citing it.

Pepper said...

I completely agree. Those jealous of masturbation have some weird hang-ups...

I personally encourage masturbation in everyone! This is mildly awkward on public transit.

Thanks for the thoughtful post.