4 Over-Rated Sex Locations

Sex on the Beach

Ever since Jaws, I've feared the ocean. The sea is very romantic, but I would be too nervous the entire time. Jaws proved in that first scene of the movie-like Jason from Friday the 13th-that he won't put up with bad behavior like pot-smoking or sex. Aside from Jaws, there are all sorts of other creatures out there. While walking in the ocean I've stepped on some unidentified crustaceous creatures and we've both scuttled along away from one another in fear.

Maybe it's safer on shore? No way-- because sand gets into everything. It has a mind of its own. Sand makes sex uncomfortable and even painful. My solution is to try to get a place by the beach and do it out on the porch where you can see and hear the waves: Sex at the beach, but not on the beach.

Sex in the Shower

I once tried this, but the entire time I was trying to contort my body so that I could get everything inserted correctly. That "up against the wall" variation is tougher than it sounds. I have this terrible fear every time in the shower (with or without a girl), I'm going to slip and crack my skull open. The entire shower apparatus is so slippery, and then you have soap all over the place. It's a danger zone.

Plus, I do my best to keep my bathroom clean, but I don't think I'd ever want to have sex anywhere near something called "mildew". Read more >>