14 February, 2009

What to do if Your Husband is Cheating

If you are sure your husband is having an affair, your first reaction may be to react (with anger, tears, threats), instead of responding with reason. An affair is a crisis — time seems condensed, and we feel that we have to fix the situation...right now.

But before you react, you should do some homework. Try to find whatever you need to avoid acting impulsively and doing more harm (to the marriage, and to yourself) than good.

Before confronting your husband, consider such questions as…

What are the facts?

Never make an accusation of infidelity before you have proof. Intuition can be wrong. Just because you think he is cheating doesn’t mean he is. Don’t jump to conclusions until you’ve done your homework. Nothing is more damaging to a marriage than an unfounded accusation of infidelity. There are various signs that suggest he may be cheating. A few of them are listed below, but none of these is proof:

• There is a drastic change in his daily routine.

• Your spouse is suddenly working out and overly concerned about his appearance.

• He begins to dress differently, perhaps wearing clothes that are younger, or hipper.

• He is working more over-time or coming in from work later than usual.

• You see strange phone numbers on the phone bill.

• He is secretive about cell phone calls.

• He has withdrawn emotionally and sexually.

• He is spending a lot of time on the computer.

• You are sensing a lot of anger toward things that normally wouldn’t bother him. Read more >>

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