How many lovers should a woman have?

More than 15, I'd say, and you are starting to demean sex itself.

Remember, if you assume this tally might stretch over 25 years, that's around one sexual partner every two years or so, which isn't exactly the height of promiscuity.

More than 15 partners, however, and it's no longer something special that you do only with the chosen few.

It becomes a debased currency, and it's very difficult to make it special again once you've reduced it to that level.

And it might be difficult for your partner not to feel that he's just one in a long line of conquests. When he finds out, he'll go from feeling like a pearl in your eyes, to feeling like just another bead in a necklace.

Since men's capacity for anxiety about their sexual prowess is limitless, he may also come to believe you're constantly comparing his performance with other men's.

The other thing is that your partner, if he has any idea of the number of people you've slept with, may find it uncomfortable being with your male friends, constantly wondering if you've been to bed with that man or this man.

One woman I know had four couples to supper and realised that before her marriage, she'd slept with every bloke at the dinner table, including her husband's brother.

They were polite enough not to mention it, of course, but it put her in a very difficult predicament.

'Did my husband know? Did their wives know? If their wives had known, would they have been angry and jealous? Nothing was said, but the uneasy feeling was definitely there in the background. I wished I could put the clock back,' she told me.

Carla Bruni isn't a spring chicken. By 40, you should know what's what. Fifteen lovers seems to me reasonable without being shameful. Read more >>