10 June, 2008

Why you’re single

Because you’re desperate
That stench of demanding neediness couched in cloying self-pity with top notes of dire urgency? It’s not exactly love’s fragrant musk. In fact, it’s nauseating. Do yourself a favor and quit wanting it so bad. How about working on that hot bod to give yourself something worth strutting around about?

Because you’re afraid of commitment
“Commitmentphobia is more often seen in men than women,” says Barbara Bartlik, M.D., a psychiatrist and sex therapist at the Weill Cornell Medical Center. “Men hate planning ahead.” Yet a recent study showed that 51 percent of women in America live without a spouse, with many happily expressing “independence” as the reason. Given the stats, it sounds like we all want to be alone. But there is a compromise between cutting yourself off from the world and escaping the ball-and-chain. Casual daters should make plans “one day at a time” with built-in curfews; knowing that there’s an end in sight combats the trapped-animal mentality. Weeknight music shows are generally a safe bet.

Because you love the sound of your voice
Are you one of those people who, like, totally has this great story that involves a dream you had, and this crazy guy who did this crazy thing, and then your mom called and it was, like, wow? That story sucks. Also, you talk too much. Learn to listen. Consider a class at Columbia University, which has a career center offering interviewing techniques.

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