13 May, 2008

How to Make Love to a Geek

1) Be very choosy about porn.

Seriously. If you're interesting in titillating your would-be mate, skip the stuff that has a Bomb-Chicka-Wow-Wow soundtrack. Have you ever noticed that the woman in these types of videos never seems to have an orgasm? Not exactly the stuff geek dreams are made of. Okay, well maybe YOUR dreams. But not hers. And maybe don't spring your Debbie Does Dallas vintage collection on her until you have a clearer sense of what she's all about as a person. Just a suggestion.

2) No stupid lines

Females with geek interests are going to be far more impressed by your wit, your intelligence, and your personality than by your ability to sound like some hairgelled-up "How To Seduce Any Woman You Want For Just $19.99" doucheninja. So ditch the lines altogether. She's too smart to believe them anyway. Be yourself. Ask her what she's been reading lately or what her musical and cinematic tastes are. Ask if she'd like to have coffee/drinks/dinner some time. But don't try to put on an act in order to pull her into your orbit, like she's some kind of cutesy pink satellite and you're the Giant Barry White Planet Of Love, okay?

3) Try erotica

Once you're in a relationship with the nerdette of your dreams, the direct, honest approach to erotic arousal is often preferable to the unrealistic, fundamentally inauthentic Bomb-Chica-Wow-Wow kind. Reading from erotic literature can set a mood, as can talking about sexual likes and dislikes. Take the time to learn what turns on your partner, outside the bedroom where you can talk in greater detail. Sexy talk leads to sexy times.

4) Laugh

In my work with couples, one of the most frequently-cited attractors is the ability to make the other person laugh. Laughter can be a tension-lifter, a mood-enhancer, and a wonderful distraction from things like TPA reports and lay-offs. You, after all, want to get your lay-ons right? Right? Heh. That was quite the joke there, wasn't it? Damn right.

So make with the funny. It makes you seem sexier than you may believe.

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