Getting back your spark in the dark

"A good sex life is an important part of an individual's overall health," says Mark Schoen, PhD, director of sex education for the Sinclair Intimacy Institute. "People who have a good sex life feel better mentally and physically."

Dr Linda Banner, PhD, a licensed sex therapist specialising in marriage and relationship counselling, advises that "sex can be a wonderful cementer or a terrible wedge" in relationships.

In the beginning of a new relationship, most couples experience very passionate sex. Just the thought of your lover evokes paroxysms of desire.

This is the result of chemistry and novelty. It is always exciting to explore unknown territory but over time the chemistry and novelty wears off and passion diminishes.

I must emphasise to all couples that passion inevitably decreases over time. When lovers settle into the comfort and stability of a long-term relationship, it is natural for it to change and become less intense. Sometimes boredom sets in.

In other words, love may remain constant, but passion comes and goes in waves.

Remember, losing that 'in-love' feeling is a normal developmental stage of love relationships.

In order to bring romance back into your relationship, you first need to understand why it left.

What has happened neurochemically?

When you and your partner were in the early stages of courtship, you experienced the euphoria of infatuation: there is strong evidence that this altered state or 'high' of infatuation is accompanied by neurochemical changes. Read on >>