29 September, 2007

Show Him Your O-Face

A friend informed me of the following dilemma. I would have answered it in private and went on with my merry way, but I’m not about to look a gift question in the mouth. I’ve heard this story way too many times, and I’m taking preventative action against it coming up again:

“I’ve been having sex for the last five months with my boyfriend, and I’ve only had how many orgasms ... let me count ... Oh yeah—zero!

I mean I love him, etc., etc., but I’d like to have an orgasm at some stage. When we’re having sex I get aroused but it seems that the level of arousal is constant and it never increases during sex.

And oral sex is ... no comment. I mean I give him an “A” for effort, but he seems really overeager to please, and you can tell in his performance he just sort of dives right in and kind of goes way too fast.”

- Zilch Earth-Rockin’ Orgasms

Dear ZERO: He may be a sweetie, but he sounds like anything but in the sack. “A” for effort only goes so far. Listen, honey: The only vowel coming from our mouth should be “Oh!” Read on >>

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