A Guide to Orgasm Etiquette

We hope we don’t need to point out that just one orgasm, for one partner, is not the finishing tape of a sex run. Instead, think of sex as a three-legged race — your partner can neither compete nor cross the finish line without your help, and vice versa. Each partner should make a concerted effort to satisfy their partner before throwing the towel in.

Because a woman’s post-orgasmic resolution phase is slower and more gradual than a man’s, it makes sense that her orgasm come first: she can often continue to receive and enjoy stimulation, including penetration, long after her first O. In fact continued attention may result in multiple orgasms for a few lucky bitches…excuse us, women. In contrast, men who have climaxed first may consequently struggle against their own quicker resolution and its attendant urges toward sleep and TV watching. However, this is no excuse for shirking sexual responsibility. Men can and should continue to pleasure their female partner until she is satisfied (whatever “satisfied” means to that individual).

A word of caution, though: The only thing worse than a man who does not care about a woman’s orgasm is one who cares about it to the exclusion of all else. This is the man who heads downtown and vows not to come up for air until his girlfriend does her best Meg Ryan. He approaches handwork like weeding (“Must. Dig Up. Orgasm!”) and swears, in dulcet tones an octave lower than his usual voice, that he is dedicated to “female pleasure.” He wants to be a super-lover — his ego depends upon it. He covets her orgasms like a Boy Scout covets merit badges. While the intention is indeed admirable, all that pressure can leave a woman wishing she had just played golf instead. Plus, giving her performance anxiety is the best way to ensure she won’t reach orgasm. Don’t worry guys, you won’t lose your “Sensitive Guy” merit badge if you believe her when she says that she’s happy with the sex for sex’s sake, and you give up graciously. Sometimes, the fat lady simply will not sing. But that doesn’t mean everyone can’t still enjoy the show. Read on >>