How women should watch porn

1. UNINTERESTED WOMEN
There is nothing worse than watching a movie and seeing the girl sit/lay completely still with no reaction whatsoever. Alright, well, she might moan or fake a scream of pleasure, but it’s obvious that she’s not feeling it. I understand that she has to appear to be into it (thus the moans), but if she obviously looks like she's just pretending to enjoy it, what good does that do anyone?

2. MEN WHO ONLY MOVE IN ONE THRUST PATTERN
While I recognize that there are men out there that do this, there are two problems. First, these are men that rarely make women orgasm. Second, these guys are not getting a lot of sex. This makes them appear uninterested, too. If they aren’t going to offer something that women cannot find in their own bedroom, they cannot expect women to be fans.

3. OVERLY-HAIRY WOMEN
Luckily there is an entire section of videos specifically for people that like overtly hairy women. If I am watching, I prefer neat or shaved. Anything less gives me the willies. I end up spending all the time looking at the bush and not anything else. It’s very distracting. I don’t know about you, but that’s not making me hot.

4. CUM SHOTS
From a marketing standpoint I understand cum shots. I do! They really aren’t very attractive though. In fact, they make me giggle. It amuses me how some men shoot so much further than others and some just drip. It makes me laugh just thinking about it. Besides, it looks too much like snot onscreen to be sexy. No one wants to be snotted on.

5. THE STANDARD PORN METHOD
Those of you who watch porn know what I am talking about. It goes something like… kiss, chest rub, blow job, optional clit lick, vaginal, anal, hand job, cum shot. Naturally this is changed up slightly if it’s a threesome. Usually there is some back and forth going on…. or doggie style and blow job, if its two guys/one girl.

FIGURING OUT WHAT YOU LIKE
With all of that in mind, once you watch enough, you will know what to look for if you want foreplay or if you want to laugh at a movie with a bunch of your friends. Coming up (to to speak), I will be offering some videos you might want to look for -- and some movies you will definitely want to avoid! via