04 November, 2009

How not to make love like a porn star

He'd been jackhammering away for what felt like hours. "You like that, baby? You like that?" he asked, though he didn't notice I wasn't answering. And then, somewhere around the 18th time he said it, it hit me -- I wasn't just having bad sex. I was having bad porn sex.

Unlike other recreational pleasures -- bowling, baking pies -- sex, unless you're a swinger, isn't something people get much firsthand observational experience with. Forget about getting real information from school about how awesome it’s supposed to feel. And the trainer from the gym isn’t going to stand by while you’re getting your freak on, telling you your form is off. Hence the instructional uses of the erotic feature.

We are thankfully a generation away from the days one had to do a stealthy walk of shame to the back room of the local video store for a glimpse of naked people going at it. We can, if we so choose, sit around in our underwear all day and watch Tera Patrick do what she gets paid to do. The rise of youporn.com and other user-generated sites means that "face-sitting in latex" is easier to get than a Domino’s delivery -- and about as good. Read on >>

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